1. We haven’t trademarked a five-step, three-step or any-step process with a SILLYGRANDIOSENAME™.

2. Our other offices aren’t in Paris, New York, Melbourne, Singapore, Antarctica or Mars.

3. Henceforth, you won’t find a pseudo-academic report about the future of brands ‘succeeding by creating total engagement transforming connections with customers in a holistic social media environment’ (here’s a comma, now breathe).

4. We don’t flog ‘storytelling’ with the word ‘strategic’ (and £££s) in front of it.

5. We won’t tell you how creative and analytical we are. Imaginative but effective. Out of the box yet very much trapped inside it.

You get the idea. We do branding without the blah.